On December 29, 2014, I felt like my whole world was turned upside down. I was supposed to be signing a lease to an apartment that day so I could separate from my husband, but instead Richie and I decided it was time that we sit down and talk about our marriage. I was scared! I just knew in my heart he was going to tell me something I didn’t want to hear. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to handle the truth, but I was ready to finally get to the bottom of everything.
Richie told me that for 7 weeks he had been talking to another woman on Facebook. He promised that they had never met in person but he said, “I like her a lot and we have a lot in common.” She made him happy because she complimented him in ways that I didn’t. She told him how he is a good man and very handsome. Not only did they talk, but they sent pictures to each other as well. She would send him pictures of her in her bra and he would lust after her. Hearing those words hurt me, it hurt really bad. It was like a knife went straight through my chest and left me scarred for life! I had told myself that I wasn’t in love with Richie anymore but that wasn’t true. If I didn’t love him then why did I feel so much pain? At that moment I realized just how much he meant to me. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him or seeing him with another woman. It dawned on me how for years I had taken this wonderful husband of mine for granted. I had stepped all over his heart time and time again, and made him feel so unloved and unappreciated.
Later that day we continued to talk things out. I told Richie that I agreed to the separation because I thought it could help our marriage, but I never knew he had intentions of using it as a time to date other women. He knew that by me being a Christian I would not see other men while still married to him. I asked Richie to come in the bedroom. As we laid there I said to him, ” If you want to be with her and you think she will make you happy then go and be with her, but don’t expect me to be here waiting on you when it don’t work out the way you planned. He said, “I want to fix our marriage if we can, but I don’t think you will ever be able to love me the way I love you.” I understood why he felt that way. Richie had always fought for my love. There were several times in our relationship that I would tell him I wasn’t in love with him and that I was praying for God to help me get my feelings for him back. He would write me love notes and fix my favorite foods but it didn’t do much for me. I always thought the grass would be greener on the other side and it left Richie with a fear that one day I would leave him for a smarter and wealthier man. I had such little hope that my marriage would last that once I even told him I was not going to tie my tubes because perhaps I would give another man a child one day. The truth was there were many times I wanted a divorce but I didn’t want to disappoint God.
That night I had a desire for my husband like never before. I believe knowing that another woman wanted him made me want him more. It’s like my body was craving him. I said to him, “If you want it then take it!” He did and we made amazing love that night! It reminded me how we were perfectly made for one another. Afterwards he just enjoyed kissing on me and holding me in his arms but the future of our relationship was still questionable.
The next day I asked Richie what his final decision was. I had trust issues because of everything he told me and he had a problem trusting that I was being genuine with my feelings. He said that he felt as though I didn’t want him, but I didn’t want anyone else to have him. That day we decided that we was going to give our marriage one more try. My heart was completely broken, but I was determined that no matter what I was going to give 100% of my time and energy towards fixing my marriage.
He ended things with the other woman and she was upset. She said that he must really love me to change his mind after one conversation. He suggested we deactivate our Facebook accounts so that he wouldn’t be tempted to talk to her and I wouldn’t be distracted. I agreed to it. I decided that day that everything was going to be different. I said, “God change me! Make me the wife you called me to be!” Then I told Richie that he would have to sleep in the bed with me every night, that we were going to have a date night every week if we could afford it, and that we were going to spend a lot more time together. So we planned our first date night for New Year’s Eve.
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