A few weeks ago while I was at work, my phone started ringing. Since I thought it was my husband I pulled out my phone to check it. At that very moment, my boss walked in the kitchen and caught me. I had never been in trouble at my job before, but I got written up and warned that if it happened again I could lose my job. I was so ashamed of myself because I knew I wasn’t allowed to be on my cell phone, but the truth is I had used my phone before despite knowing it was against the policy. It got me thinking about how often we do things we know we aren’t supposed to do, and sometimes it takes us getting caught to stop.

Even in marriage, husbands and wives can easily get caught up in doing things they wouldn’t do if their spouse were watching. I will admit there’s been times in my own marriage that I hid my shopping bags from my husband, went over my spending limit when I promised I wouldn’t, flirted with guys, sent texts I wouldn’t want him to see, and made decisions I wouldn’t make in front of him. But God has dealt with me over the years, and I’ve learned that integrity in marriage is so important.

Here’s just a little warning: whatever you’re doing behind your spouse’s back, you will eventually get caught! The Bible says, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out” (Prov. 10:9). And I can surely testify that things that my husband and I have hidden from each other, were brought to the light.“For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all” (Luke 8:17). 

Maybe there’s something you’re doing right now that you know you shouldn’t be doing. Maybe you’ve justified your actions by thinking it’s not a lie if he hasn’t asked about it, or by saying “What she don’t know won’t hurt her”. So often I am contacted by people who just found out their spouse’s secret, and they feel hurt, betrayed, sad, shocked, confused, and angry. I felt all those emotions too when I found out my husband had cheated on me. I remember asking, “If you hid this from me, what else have you hidden from me?” I felt as though our whole marriage was one big lie.

So I want to encourage you to be completely open and honest with your spouse about everything. I want to encourage you to have integrity in your marriage. To not do anything you wouldn’t do if your spouse were right in front of you. To think about how you would feel if your spouse were doing the very same thing. “For we aim at what is honorable not only in the Lord’s sight but also in the sight of man” (2 Cor. 8:21).

I can honestly say that I am so glad I got caught! I not only want to have good integrity in my marriage, but I also want to have it on the job. As a Christian, people look up to me and follow my example, and I want to set the example that I do what is right even when no one is looking. And you should also do what is right even when no one is looking, because it is honorable to God.

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much” (Luke 16:10).

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