Have you ever been in the heat of an argument with your spouse, and suddenly your sex hormones go crazy? Do you wonder, “How can I be mad at him, and want to have sex with him at the same time?” It’s crazy right! Well maybe not as crazy as you think. So lately I’ve developed this theory in my mind. I believe that God uses our sex drive as a way of solving conflict in marriage. I don’t have any scripture to back me up, but I do have a few of my personal testimonies I’d like to share, and a little anatomy lesson.

A few weeks ago I was on one of my emotional roller coasters. I let the hurt I was feeling from my husband’s past mistakes basically paralyze me. I didn’t want to be touched, I didn’t want him in the bed with me, and I just wanted to be left alone to soak in my misery. This went on for a few days. Part of me believed I had the right to take my space, and part of me knew that too much time away from my husband could be damaging to our marriage. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (1 Cor 7:5). By the end of the week, I was desiring my husband so bad sexually I couldn’t hardly stand it. Now pride was telling me to stay mad, stay in my feelings, and continue to shut him out. But my body was telling me something much different. And we all know that we are made by God, every part of us. For you formed my inner parts… (Psalm 139:13). My husband asked me that night if I would come and watch a show with him in the living room. As we sat there side by side on the couch, the sexual tension could have been cut with a knife. I thought to myself, “I am blessed to have my husband right here with me, why am I letting circumstances from the past ruin my happiness today?” Slowly I cuddled up to him and gave him a kiss. I could tell he was too afraid to initiate sex in fear that I was still a bit fragile. We went in the bedroom and started talking about everything. I apologized for being so cold, and before you knew it we were having the best makeup sex ever.

Now had I not been wanting sex so bad, I probably would have stayed upset and distant for a lot longer. That’s not the first time that’s happened to us. Think about it, how many times have you kept your thoughts to yourself because you knew it would ruin the mood? Or let something slide that normally would upset you, because you knew it would affect your sexual intimacy? Some may think I’m crazy, but I truly believe sex can solve a lot of problems in marriage. And I believe God designed it that way. Now I know that a great sex life doesn’t fix everything, and there are still areas we have to deal with. But I bet if you deal with some of those areas after you’ve both fulfilled each other’s physical needs, the process will be much easier.

When I think about a woman’s body and how it’s made, this whole thing makes much more sense. (Guys I hope you read this part). During our menstrual cycle are hormones are crazy, which can make us an emotional train wreck. But during the part when our bodies are ovulating, our sex drive has reached it’s peak. Basically what I’m saying is, women are crazy for a few days, then horny for a few days. So all the arguments caused by our inability to control our emotions, eventually lead to makeup sex. Great makeup sex at that.

There was another time I was upset with Richie and I actually told him to leave the house. I said, “Why don’t you just go stay at your friend’s house for the night.” He went, and for a moment It felt good to be punishing him. But it wasn’t long after he left that I felt guilty for the way I was acting. After all, it’s not our place to decide the consequences one must face for their sin. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”(Romans 12:19). I spent most of the night texting him. My texts somehow went from telling him how upset I was and why, to telling him just how much I missed and wanted him sexually. Without going into any detail, I can tell you that when he came home the next day, we were not arguing anymore.

So husbands and wives this is my challenge to you: If you’re upset with your spouse for some reason right now, stop what you’re doing, let the anger and pride go, makeup, and have sex! And the next time you have a disagreement, let your love and sex drive be the force that moves anything standing in the way of you and your spouse.

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