Winter months had passed, spring was in the air, and my husband and I were continuing our journey to a better marriage. I spent my days journaling my thoughts, feelings, and everything God was teaching me throughout the process. Each day Richie and I became more connected, more transparent with one another, and it got easier for me to block out thoughts of the affair in my head. We would do little things to reassure our love for one another, like kissing at red lights and hugging each other so tight we wouldn’t let go.
When Richie and I first got married we would always go on double dates with our friends. We would go out to eat, watch movies together, and play games like monopoly or cards. During those times Richie and I had so much fun laughing and loving, that our friendship stayed strong. When our friends got divorced and we weren’t able to spend time with them anymore, we quit doing much of anything as a couple. I think that was one of the major turning points in our marriage. We became consumed with our own interests and denied the importance of quality time in our relationship. This past March we began going out with some couples that we recently became close to. It has helped our marriage and also opened my eyes to the fact that every relationship has problems, but it’s how you learn and grow from them that matters the most.
They say love is worth fighting for, well I have definitely fought for love more than ever this year. One day at church I was talking with a dear friend who has also experienced infidelity in her marriage. We began sharing all that we had learned through the heartache and pain and agreeing how God used our husband’s affairs to transform us into the wives He wanted us to be. After we ministered to one another I felt such a joy inside. I left church and I remember saying to myself, “God you are so good! What you have done in me and my marriage is something to be thankful for! You have given me happiness in my sorrow. I feel so good today that even if I seen the other woman, I wouldn’t say a word to her.” After dropping the kids off at my moms I went to Church’s Chicken to get some food. I had not eaten there in years but for some reason I decided to go there. As I was pulling out of the parking lot the woman my husband cheated on me with was pulling in. Everything I had just said to God went out of my mind and I was ready to confront this woman. I turned my car around and I had intentions to go in that restaurant and demand she tell me the truth. But then after praying I came to my senses and realized that would be more harmful than good. I just needed to let it go and continue being happy with my husband. I went back to my moms and cried on her shoulder. I was so tired of fighting. I was tired of the battle going on in my mind. One day I was fine and looking to the future and the next day I was consumed by thoughts of my husband with her. The devil tried to make me believe that Richie didn’t really love me and that he only chose me because it was the easier choice, but I knew that was a lie. I reminded myself of Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. The devil was still out to destroy my marriage and he attempted to steal my joy everyday. On my way home I felt sad and wondered if it would be easier to just give up on my marriage. Then the song Good Fight by Unspoken came on the radio and I knew that God was speaking right to me. The lyrics said: Until you stop breathing, til you stop bleeding, until your heart stops kick drum beating. When it’s hard times when it’s long days and the enemy is right up in your face. When your back’s against the ropes and you’re feeling all alone, keep fighting the good fight! Keep letting your light shine! “Cause I’m never gonna to leave you, I’m always gonna see you through to the other side keep fighting the good, fighting the good, fighting the good fight. And you may never know what your tomorrow holds, but you can know that I am holding your tomorrow.”
That song was just the motivation and hope I needed to keep fighting, Fighting for my marriage, for my husband, and for my family. When I got home I gave Richie a big hug and kiss and I had a wonderful rest of the day. We all get dealt a different hand of cards in life, but if we play them right we can win every time. I got a dealt a bad hand but I was not defeated because through God and His word I was guided in every move I made and strengthened along then way. I believe in life we have a choice to be happy, we have a choice to choose God’s way instead of our own. James 1:2-4 says Count it all joy, my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have it’s full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
I once received an email from Mort Fertel that compared a strong marriage to a grape. See a grape has to be plucked, pushed, crushed, pressed, skinned, and fermented before becoming a fine wine. Just like a grape has to go through a difficult process before it matures, so does marriage.
“The BEST marriages are with couples who were crushed, who went through a painful process, and who built their relationship from the ruins of broken hearts.”-Mort Fertel
When I get older I want to look back on my life and remember that at age 26 I was forever changed. I became the wife that God always wanted me to be. I’ll remember how God restored our marriage to better than ever before. I will leave a legacy for my daughter and for other women in my life. Everything that I’ve been through will be used to glorify God. I am going to keep fighting the good fight.
Fight the good fight of the faith… 1 Timothy 6:12
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial, because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! Make sure to subscribe to my email for updates on future posts. You can also follow me at www.facebook.com/transformedwife If you need a little encouragement today please listen to this song https://youtu.be/T4co6n3zUcA I pray it will bless you. Please feel free to comment below or email me with questions and concerns.