For the past three months I have written about the difficulties my husband and I have faced in marriage, my failures on being a godly wife, and the love affair my husband had that dramatically changed my life. I share my story because I know that God can use it to give others hope and inspiration. My intentions have never been to portray my husband as a bad man, or to lead others to look down upon him for the mistakes he’s made in life. For those of you that don’t know us personally, I would like to share with you more of our journey as a couple, so that you can learn just how wonderful of a man my husband is.

I was twelve years old and I had just got hired on at a small restaurant working as a cashier and cook. I wasn’t really old enough to work, but I told my boss I was fifteen and she never questioned it. We was poor and I needed wages to pay for personal items and school clothes. One day while I was at work my sister came to visit me. While we were talking Richie walked through the door. Since she knew him from school she introduced us. I felt his eyes upon me staring me down, but he didn’t seem to be my type and he was obviously a few years older than me. After that day Richie started coming by the house to try to sell us music cds he made. He even tried to get my sister to go out with him a few times but she wasn’t interested. Him and I became friends and he would visit me often. There was a house for sale next to mine so he would park there and I would sneak out our back to door to be with him. It started getting around in the high school that Richie was talking to a younger girl, so we decided not to take our relationship any further at that time.

A few months went by, Richie had just graduated High school, and we both was ready to reconnect. We started hanging out a lot and quickly became best friends. The feelings we had before were still there and began getting stronger every time we were together. We began dating and fell in love faster than we both expected. A few months into our relationship he went off to college and my heart was broken at his departure. I cried for hours! Everyone warned me that he would find another girl at college and forget all about me, but that was not the case. After he left I did some horrible things behind his back. I met up with my ex-boyfriend a few times and had sex with him, I messed around with a friend from school, and I started seeing someone else. I confessed to Richie what I had done but he still wanted to be with me. He would come home a few weekends out of the month to see me and his family. There were many times I would be out with someone else and he would have to hunt me down, but no matter what he always wanted to be with me. He fought hard for our relationship when I was just busy being a careless teenager and hurting him in the process.

By the time I was fourteen Richie had moved back home to go to college in Chattanooga. Almost everyone in my household was on drugs and I was living in a very unsafe environment. Richie couldn’t stand to see the woman he loved in such conditions, so he promised to get me out of there. We moved into the house his grandma once lived in and I became a “housewife” and a very young age. A year after living together I started cheating on him again. This time it was a lot worse because I had an affair with his cousin who was also his best friend. When Richie found out of course he was completely devastated but he did what most men wouldn’t do, he got on his knees and begged me to stay with him instead of pursuing a relationship with his cousin. I agreed to stay and we got married a few years later.

For the majority of our relationship, even after marriage, my actions made Richie feel unloved, unappreciated, and unqualified to be my husband. I have told him several times that I was not in love with him anymore and that I didn’t think he could ever make me happy. I said awful things that hurt him deeply. There were times he was desperate for my affection and companionship but I just wouldn’t give it to him. I made him feel inadequate because I constantly expressed how much I wanted to be with a godly man. He has always tried so hard to please me. When I wanted a house, he bought it for me. When I wanted to go on trips, he took me. When I wanted nice things, he purchased them. He used to cook my favorite meals and write me long love letters to make me fall back in love with him, but I rejected him so many times. Up until his affair, he always fought for our marriage and always had higher hopes for us than I did.

I used to have blinders on and could never see all the great qualities in my husband. When God opened my eyes and changed my perspective, I began to view my husband for the man he really is. He’s hard-working, ambitious, talented, successful, diligent with his finances, polite, and a good father. He is loving, supportive, patient, and forgiving. I regret that for years I took him for granted and overlooked just how great of a gift from God he really is. Yes he has made a lot of bad choices and betrayed me in many ways, but I forgive him. Out of anger I once said, “I’m not sure I can ever look at my husband the same way again because of what he did.” But that is not true. With the help of God I will look past Richie’s faults, past his weaknesses, and past his failures. My husband is a wonderful man and I pray that I never see him as anything less. I love him with all my heart and I will never treat him the way I used to. He has my promise that I will spend the rest of my life striving to please him and being the best wife possible.

If you are struggling with viewing your spouse differently because of something they have done, then please read these scriptures below and pray for God to renew your vision.

As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; Romans 3:10

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23

“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7

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