After everything that’s happened in my marriage, it would be easy to let fear control my life. I could spend my time worrying about things that I have no control over such as: what if my husband cheats on me again, what if the emotional pain never goes away, and what if we face future struggles up ahead? Living in fear has never been God’s plan for our lives. For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control (2 Tim 1:7).
I admit there’s been times I’ve struggled with fear. I’ve worried that something will happen that would cause me more heartache. And if so, would I be able to bear it? But then I remind myself of who I am. I am a child of God, and I will not be bound to fear. There’s some things in our lives we can’t control, but God can. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid…(Jos 1:9).
What good does it do worrying about what might happen? When we learn to trust God we know that whatever may come our way, God will be right by our side. So do not fear for I am with you; do not be afraid for I am your God…(Isa 41:10).
Over and over again God has proven to me that I can trust Him instead of worrying about everything in my life. I think back to the time when I first found out about the affair. My husband lied and told me it was only an emotional one. I was so upset 6 weeks later when out found out there was more to the story. But now I know that it was all part of God’s plan. Had my husband told me the truth in the beginning, I would have divorced him. Then we wouldn’t have the marriage we do now. We wouldn’t have our ministry. I’m not saying God wanted him to lie, I’m saying that God protected me from the truth until I was able to handle it. I remember a time I was driving myself crazy checking my husband’s phone, Facebook account, email, and even tracking him down when he wasn’t home. Until finally, one day I was on the phone with a friend. She said to me, “Why are you wasting all your time and energy doing that? You are a godly woman and you know that if your husband is being dishonest God will show it to you.” I knew she was right, and not only would He reveal it to me, but He would do it in His timing, which is the best timing.
Our goal in life should always be to follow God’s plan, not our own. We say that but do we really mean it? Do we really trust that God will work everything out for our good? That He has our best interest at heart? The minute things don’t go our way, or God’s plan seems too hard, we start to fear. When our bank account gets low, we start to fear. When the doctor’s report isn’t good, we start to fear. When our kids get sick, we start to fear. When our husband comes home from work two hours late, we start to fear. When we don’t get that job we really wanted, we start to fear. God’s word says, Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phi 4:6-7).
If you’re struggling with fear, I encourage you to pray and ask God to help you fully trust that He will always be with you, protect you, guide you, prosper you, and provide for you.
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