It was a Wednesday night and I was at church for a small group study. We were watching a video series by Joyce Meyer called Battlefield of the mind. It was just the class I needed because my mind was being attacked daily by Satan. The thoughts of my husband with the other woman wouldn’t go away. Sometimes I longed to go to sleep because I thought it was my only way to escape the torture. I was wrong. My dreams turned to nightmares about my husband doing the most despicable things, and I would wake up with more confusion and more questions running through my head than before. One of the things Joyce Meyer said in her lesson changed my life. She said, “Start praying for your enemies.” Sure I had read the scripture before that says, …”Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you”(Matt 5:44). But for some reason her words really stood out to me that night.

The next couple of weeks I spent time praying for the other woman. I asked God to convict her of the things she had done wrong so that she would seek His forgiveness. I asked God to bless her and her child, and to one day send her a good husband. More than anything, I wanted this experience to be just as life changing for her as it was for me. I hoped that it would open her eyes and reveal to her just how much she needed God. The more I prayed for her, the more I started seeing her through God’s eyes. I actually started feeling sorry for her. She was young, living at home with her parents, had no job, and making stupid mistakes by getting involved with a married man. I’m sure she had hopes of being with Richie and was heartbroken the day he told her he chose me. It was her fault she was in that situation, but she needed guidance not judgement. I too have easily gotten caught up in sin, so I knew it wasn’t my place to condemn her. For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God (Romans 3:23). I remember saying to God, “Lord, she’s nobody to me, she’s nobody to my husband, but she is somebody to you. She’s your child. She’s one that you love. She’s special in your eyes.” Knowing that she meant so much to God, I knew I had no right to be anything but kind to her.

Thinking about her, talking about her, and praying about her has never been easy, but     It has changed my perspective towards her. I always wondered what if her involvement with my husband was God’s way of waking her up? What if the way I responded to her motivated her to become a better woman? To become closer to the Lord? I never called her out of her name, I never threatened her, and I wished her the best. No I’m not perfect and of course I haven’t always had the best thoughts about her, but when I start to get upset, I remember she’s a child of God who needs forgiveness  and grace just like the rest of us. Ephesians 4:32 says, Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. 

A few months ago, I received a message from her asking me if we could talk. It was totally unexpected and caught me completely off guard. It had been almost a year since I had talked to her (one week after finding out about the affair). I never tried to look her up on any social networks and I was trying my best to forget her. I won’t disclose everything she said to me that day, but I will tell you that I know my prayers worked. She told me she was looking on my Facebook page one day and stumbled across my website. She admitted she had been reading my blog ever since. She expressed how embarrassed she was for the things she had done, and she apologized to me for the hurt she caused. But the words that touched my heart the most, was when she told me she had been getting closer to God. It made my heart so happy! It was a praise report! Definitely not from the person I wanted to have anything to do with, but I was thankful. She never came out directly and said exactly what caused her to get closer to God, but I believe my prayers and the content she read on my blog played a role in the process.

I never dreamed of being a writer and I never dreamed of touching the lives of others this way. God has a perfect plan for my life and it’s all starting to unfold. As much as it hurts to live with the emotional pain I feel on a daily basis, I’m thankful to God for many reasons. He saved my marriage, he changed me and my husband, and he gave us this wonderful marriage ministry that is transforming lives all over the world. I will never be ungrateful for that or take it for granted.

If there’s someone in your life who has caused you heartache, pain, or has mistreated you, I wan’t to encourage you to pray for them. Ask God to help you see that person through His eyes. Don’t hate the person, hate the sin! “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”-Martin Luther King, Jr.  

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