It was the middle of the day and I was just waking up. I was exhausted from picking up an extra shift during the night. I grabbed my phone and begin reading a text message that I never thought I would receive. It was from my best friend and this is what she wrote:

I love you Rachel, but I will no longer associate with you because your husband is racist. 

I couldn’t believe it! She thought my husband was racist? The man who married a white woman and whose best friends were white as well! I immediately messaged her back and told her I had no clue what she was talking about. She explained how she had been following some of his posts on Facebook related to the whole Confederate flag debate, and she felt he was trying to offend white people. I told her I didn’t even see his posts, but if she didn’t agree with them then she could unfollow or unfriend him on Facebook. That day she asked me to do something that no wife should ever do. She asked me to stand up to my husband for her. To tell him to remove his posts and apoligize to her. If I didn’t, then I was not considered a true friend, and our friendship would be over for good. But my husband did nothing wrong! He only voiced his opinion on the subject just like every other American. He had the right to do that and he never shared anything racist. So I chose to do what every wife should do; to stand by my man.

Later that day she called me and tried to get me to see her point of view. She became angrier every time I defended my husband. But I was proud of myself. Richie used to always say that he never felt like I took up for him for anthing. That I was always against him. But this time was different, I had changed. I wanted to prove to him that no other relationship on Earth was as important as ours. The more she spoke on the phone, the more I realized that our friendship wasn’t ending just over politics. She was angry at my husband for committing adultery, and she couldn’t accept that I so lovingly forgave him. To her it was an unforgivable act because she had witnessed how it could tear a family apart. I will never forget the most hurtful words she said to me, ” Go ahead and take up for your husband, the one who cheated on you and who can’t keep his thing in his pants. I hope he cheats on you again!” Still to this day, I don’t know how she could have been so cruel. She knew my heart was already completely broken and she shattered what was left of it. She was the one I called nearly every day just to talk. The one who I enjoyed spending time with even if it was just chatting over a cup of hot coffee. Who I took on several weekend trips and paid for everything. Who I had my first beach trip with. Our daughters were best friends and did everything together. I supported her business and promoted it to all my friends and family. I paid for her and her mother to come to our annual banquet at the church. I did a lot for her and I was a great friend. I prayed for her and uplifted her during her depression. At the time, I was so hurt and confused. I didn’t understand how she could treat me that way. Even after all of that, I was willing to forgive her and continue being her friend, but she told me too much damage had been done and we needed to go our separate ways. I didn’t agree with that. I asked her to think about all the damage that had been done in my marriage, yet God restored my relationship with my husband to better than ever before. I couldn’t change her mind and it was an awful feeling being dumped as a friend for doing the right thing in my marriage. It’s such a letdown when you expect someone to care as much as you do, to love like you do, and to forgive like you do, but they won’t.

2015 was a hard year for me. I cried many tears over losing my best friend and over dealing with my husband’s affair, but I learned a lot. I learned what it’s like to be lied to, betrayed, rejected, and hurt by the people you love the most. I learned that people you think are your friends will become your enemies. That only certain people will stick by you through the most difficult times in your life. That jealousy can poison any relationship. I learned that there is only one who you can trust to never leave you, and never forsake you! He is the great I am! He is the alpha and omega! He is the beginning and the end! He is my rock and my fortress! My strong tower! My shield! My defender! My Father! My friend! My everything!

Whatever you’re going through today, just know that God will not put more on you than you can bare. He will remove the burdens from your shoulders (Psalms 81:6). One day your grief will turn to joy! (John 16:16). I pray many blessings for you all in the year 2016! I’m excited to see what God has in store for me, my family, and this ministry!

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Eph 4:32).

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! Please follow me at www.facebook.com/transformedwife Classes are held every Sunday at 10am! For more info contact me via email Rachel@transformedwife.com