Do you know that your spouse is a gift from God? Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father…(James 1:17). If you’re like me, maybe you’ve taken that gift for granted. Maybe there’s been times you didn’t want it, you didn’t cherish it, and you felt like there was nothing good about it. How do you think that makes God feel?

Imagine you gave your child a gift. You just knew it was the perfect gift and they would love it. At first they was excited about it, and enjoyed it to the fullest. But after a while, they noticed it was imperfect. They noticed it had a few flaws and didn’t always perform up to their expectations. Parts of it were broken. Eventually, they quit playing with it and moved on to another gift. A new gift, that made them feel excited like they did when they received the first one. Sometimes this is the way we are in marriage. God has given your spouse to you as a gift. He or she is imperfect and broken, but still God’s perfect gift for you. We should look past the flaws and weaknesses, and focus on the good parts because that’s how God is towards us. He sees us as worthy and wonderfully made. We are treasure in his eyes. He loves us even though we have sinned and done things that’s broken his heart. Even though we’ve been an adulterous generation that’s put other gods before him. Will you commit to loving your spouse that way? Or will you do like most people do and move on with a false belief that there’s someone greater out there for you, someone perfect? The truth is no one is perfect. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23). You will only be trading one imperfect person out for another. The key to having a lifelong marriage is to accept the gift God has given you for the bad and the good, in sickness and in health, until death do you part.

There have been times I’ve looked at my husband and thought, “How could he do the things he did. He’s not the man I thought he was.” Thinking those thoughts, my stomach would turn to knots and a feeling of disgust would start to rise up in me. But I prayed and prayed asking God to please help me see my husband the way He sees him. God answered my prayers and completely changed my perspective. I now can look at my husband, think about the things he did, and only want to show him love, grace, kindness, and mercy. Why? Because I know that I was once lost too. I was once living in sin. I had once given my heart over to the desires of my flesh, and caused heartache to the ones I loved, including my husband. How can we go to God and beg for forgiveness and mercy, then refuse to offer it to our own spouse? As it is written: none is righteous, no, not one; (Rom 3:10).

Knowing this truth, I will value and appreciate my husband more. I will receive him for the man he is today, and motivate him to become a better man tomorrow. I will love him through all his imperfections, and motivate him to follow God’s plan for his life. I will remind him that no matter what he did in the past, he is a new creation through Christ. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come (2 Cor 5:17).

The only perfect person that ever walked this Earth was Jesus Christ. If you’re looking for the perfect spouse, you’re never going to find it. I encourage you to choose to accept your imperfect gift with loving, open arms. I pray that it will show you just how broken and in need of God’s grace you are too.

Please watch this video “Broken Together” by Casting Crowns

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