For more than a year, my husband and I have played a game called “The Love Tank Challenge”, and it has changed our marriage including our sex life. I wish I could tell you that I came up with this great game, but we actually discovered it while teaching from Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages. So let me explain the game and how it works.

First imagine your heart is a love tank; very similar to a gas tank, it’s either running on empty, full, or somewhere in between. If you and your spouse have been arguing, you haven’t had any quality time together, and you haven’t been intimate in weeks, then you would be running on empty. If you just had a date night, had sex yesterday, and kissed each other before work this morning, then you are probably running on full.

If you discover you’re running low on love, then you use this game to let your spouse know. For example: when I really miss my husband and I just want him to cuddle with me, I say, “Honey, my love tank is running really low.” Then he responds with, “What can I do to fill it up?” Then I make my requests known. Now the key is being willing to do whatever requests are made.

It’s an easy way to be specific about what I need from him, instead of nagging or expecting him to read my mind. If you notice your husband is frustrated, tense, moody, or distant, chances are he has an empty love tank, and he don’t know how to voice his needs.

I especially love playing this game when I want sex. Instead of allowing myself to become sexually frustrated, I just tell my husband specifically how he can fill my love tank. Now some of you may be thinking that this game sounds corny, and that it would be easier to just say what you need instead of playing the game, but I’ve actually interviewed couples who have been married for over 30 years and they struggle with communicating sexual needs/wants.  This game is also helpful when we’ve had a few rough days. It lightens the mood, and makes things fun.

My husband and I realize that with both us working, raising kids, and trying to conquer busy schedules, we can easily forget to meet each other’s needs. For us, this game is just a friendly reminder to keep each other feeling loved and sexually satisfied.

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