I am a proud mother of three beautiful, loving, and smart kids. I have two sons and a my youngest child is a girl. I think it’s funny how being a parent can teach you so much about life, and also about yourself. In the past week I learned a lesson from both of my sons about marriage. I know it wasn’t their intention to teach me anything, but God definitely used them to give me a revelation.

My oldest son Jaiden was in the kitchen with me, and we were having a conversation. I really don’t remember what we were talking about, but I will never forget the words that came out of his mouth. He said, “Mom, things aren’t hard, people just make them hard.” When he said that I immediately related it to marriage. Of course I think marriage can be hard, but I don’t think it’s nearly as hard as we make it out to be. Some of the choices I’ve made as a spouse is what has made situations worse than they should be. The same could be said for my husband, and probably for some of you. How much easier would our lives be if we simply followed God’s word. We read it, we say we believe in it, but we don’t always obey it. But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it”(Luke 11:28). His word says don’t go to bed mad (Eph 4:26), forgive the way God forgives you (Eph 4:32), judge not (Luke 6:37), wives submit to your husbands (Eph 5:22), and husbands love your wives (Eph 5:25). The list of how God says to treat others could go on and on, but the point I’m trying to make is that once you start following these commands, marriage will get easier. Yes we are flesh, and yes no one is perfect, but through Christ our hearts and minds can be transformed. I can testify that once I truly was transformed and started obeying these principles, it changed my marriage completely.

My middle son Desmond is one of the most sweetest, caring kids I know. Unfortunately, he does have these awful mood swings. This past Wednesday I decided to take the kids to grab something to eat and then to church afterwards. I really just wanted to spend some quality time with them since I had gotten home late the night before. Well Desmond and his sister started fighting in the car, and because he didn’t like the way I handled it, he got into one of his moods. When we went into the restaurant he refused to sit with us. In fact, he wasn’t even going to eat at first. I was so upset. All I wanted to do was to spend time with him, but the little fit he was pitching seemed to be ruining our night. At first I tried giving him some extra attention to see if that would help, but he just blew me off. I got so frustrated I just thought to myself, “Heck with it! If he wants to pout, I’ll let him!” The minute I thought that, God spoke to my spirit and said, “Rachel, you are the same exact way! You act that way towards Richie all the time.” Oh my! God was so right. I get so emotional sometimes thinking about the past, that I completely shut down. I go in my room, avoid Richie, and throw myself a pity party. I don’t talk, and I ruin plans he’s made for the two of us. I definitely didn’t like being convicted, but I needed a little taste of my own medicine to wake me up. I guess I never realized until that day, just how bad my mood swings effected my husband. I did go to Richie feeling a bit embarrassed, and explained how God showed me a reflection of myself through our son. He nodded his head, but was almost too scared to verbally agree. I apologized, and now I’m praying that I can learn to control my emotions the right way.

If you really want to become a better person, a better spouse, then ask God to show you yourself for who you really are. Say this prayer, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

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