I remember this one time I was walking out of the church sanctuary, and I had tears streaming down my face. This lady stopped me and asked, “Is something wrong?” I replied, “No, I’m fine.” Then I began to wonder how come she wasn’t crying too. The service that day was full of the presence of God, and it felt as if His love was showered upon each and every person there. I had a wonderful intimate moment with God. It’s times like that, and thinking about His goodness, I can’t help but become emotional. Not until recently, have I experienced that same kind of feeling in my marriage.

Usually after sex, my husband and I spend time cuddling and talking with each other. One day after sex, I became so emotional and began to cry. I’m not sure my husband knew, but maybe he felt my cold tear drops hit his warm arms. I wasn’t crying because I was sad or hurt, I was crying because I was overwhelmed with the love I felt from my husband and for my husband. I was crying because I felt like a blind person who could finally see. I could see so clearly what marriage was all about. I could feel the oneness in our relationship. Everything God designed marriage to be, we were experiencing. I thought about the years we wasted fighting, disagreeing, and disrespecting one another. The years we made marriage hard and it got us no where. But finally, we had arrived to a place where we learned what worked. A place where we knew things could only get better from there on out. It was a wonderful feeling.

My husband and I have always had a great sex life, but it’s better now than it was before. Not because physically something has changed, but because mentally it has. I’ve learned to participate in sex with a heart of a servant. It’s become more about pleasing him, serving him, and giving myself completely to him, than just having my needs met. Because we both have learned this concept, we are serving each other in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. Think about your relationship with God. Your goal should be to give your life completely to Him, trusting that He only wants the best for you. Do you give yourself to your spouse in a similar way? Do you give him/her your best? Do you do it with a joyful heart?

With tears of happiness, I’ve cried after sex more than once. The everlasting love my husband and I for one another now, is enough to bring water to my eyes at anytime. But because sex is the most intimate, physical act of love, it always happens after it. Sometimes I just hold my husband in my arms and began thanking God in my head over and over again for what He’s done for us. I thank Him for showing me how to love my husband the way Christ loves me. It’s not the kind of love you have when you first start getting serious with someone, and you feel butterflies in your stomach, that’s only temporary. I’m talking about a mature love. The kind that endures even when you know all your spouse’s flaws and weaknesses. That perseveres even through hurt and pain. The kind that keeps you committed even when your flesh wants to run away. I once told my husband I wish he could read my mind so he would never doubt my love for him again. Without the help of God, I could have never arrived to this place in my marriage. I pray that everyone will experience what we have experienced. Not just a good marriage, but a marriage that reflects the way Christ loves the church. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:25). And I pray that you too, will have tears of joy.

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