I’m not the least bit ashamed to tell you all, that back when Richie and I were dating, I gave him an ultimatum. We had been dating for years, we were living together, and we had just had our first child when I said to him, “Marry me, or else I’m not having sex with you anymore.” I had just rededicated my life to God, and I was tired of the guilt and shame I felt every time I laid my body down to a man who wasn’t my husband. I didn’t want to live in sin anymore, and I didn’t want my child growing up in a home where mommy and daddy were only boyfriend and girlfriend. I wanted to do things the right way, God’s way.

Richie had always told me that one day he wanted to make me his wife, but when I started pushing the issue, he got scared and wasn’t fully ready to commit. I remember him saying to me one night, “We’re pretty much already married. A piece of paper isn’t going to change anything.” But marriage is much more than just a piece of paper, and that’s why I’m writing this post.

For every person reading this that’s dating, engaged, or already married, remember these 3 very important things about marriage:

1. Marriage is about COMMITMENT 

When I said “I do” on my wedding day, I meant it. I had my mind made up that Richie was the one I wanted to be sexually intimate with, have kids with, and spend the rest of my life with. Being married should mean you’re off limits, you’re taken, and you’re not looking for anyone else. Unfortunately, the world we live in today has no respect for marriage. Women flirt with married men, men take off their wedding rings when going out, and no one wants to be tied down to one person. But God’s plan is for a husband and wife to stay committed to one another. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous (Heb 13:4).

 2. Marriage is about ONENESS

When you get married your spouse and you become as one. So they are no longer two but one flesh…(Matt 19:6). That means you should work together as a team. There shouldn’t be anymore his and hers. My husband and I still struggle in this area when it comes to finances, but we’re working on it. Because God wants husband and wife to be as one, you should pray together, solve problems together, make decisions together, sleep together, share responsibilities, and parent together. When I hear others make comments like, “He can do his thing, and I will do mine.” I know the marriage is in trouble. Richie I lived like that for years, and we grew further apart each day.

3. Marriage is about COVENANT

All throughout the Bible we can read about the covenant God made with His people. It was more than just something He said, it was His promises. When you said your vows, it wasn’t just for show, you made a promise to God, before your family and friends, and to your spouse. Your vows aren’t meant to be broken. But because so many people worry more about planning a wedding than learning what it takes to make a marriage work, vows are broken every day. A covenant means that you agree to do what you promised, even when the other person isn’t holding up his/her part of the deal. I’m not telling you it’s easy, but don’t forget that you said, “For better or worse.” God will give you the strength you need to persevere…she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant (Mal 2:14).

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