Have you ever heard your spouse say, “You just don’t appreciate anything I do!” or “Nothing I do is ever good enough for you!” I know I’ve heard those phrases roll off my husband’s tongue more than once. I’m sure you’re like me and never intended to make your spouse feel unappreciated, but somehow you did. There’s been times my husband went out of his way to do something for me and I overlooked it. And even times when I’ve taken for granted the little things he does on a daily basis as a husband and father. I don’t ever want to make him feel like I’m not thankful for all that he does. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. We want our bosses to recognize our hard work on the job, our kids to recognize the sacrifices we make to provide for them, our pastors to acknowledge our commitment to the church, and our spouses to consider all that we do for our marriages. So I came up with this list of 5 ways to make your spouse feel appreciated:

1) Always say, “Thank you!”

Now maybe you’re thinking this is pretty simple, but if you’ll be honest with yourself, I bet you’ve forgotten to say those words more than you remember. It’s important to thank your spouse for little things too, not just big things. For example, last week I had to be at work early so I wasn’t able to take my daughter to daycare. My husband gladly took her for me even though it was way out of his way. Now in his eyes it was just as much his responsibility because she’s his daughter too, but I still felt the need to let him know I appreciated him for switching up his normal routine. Husbands if your wife is a stay at home mom, make an effort to let her know how thankful you are that she keeps the house in order, takes care of the kids, and cooks dinner. Wives make sure to thank your husband for working hard, paying the bills, and helping around the house.

2) Buy him/her a gift

It’s definitely important to remember  your spouse on holidays, birthdays, and special occasions, but every once and while go and buy your mate a gift for no other reason than to express your gratitude. If you’re worried about expenses, then make a gift for your spouse of write them a love letter. Get creative. I had one couple tell me they went to the card aisle and picked out cards for one another, exchanged them, and then put them back on the shelf. It’s the thought that counts right?

3) Point out their good qualities

My husband is so much better with money than me. We used to fight about it all the time and I would call him stingy, or a tightwad. But now I say, “Honey, I love that you’re so good with money.” I’m constantly praying that God helps me see the good in my husband and not the bad. By pointing those good things out, my husband feels so appreciated. I’ve let him know how thankful I am that he works hard, is ambitious, spends time with the kids, supports my ministry, attends events with me he don’t really take interest in, and always tries to give me my heart’s desires. I’m also thankful that he has changed his life around and makes more of an effort to pray out loud for our family.

4) Brag on them in public 

If you really want to make your spouse feel appreciated, just let them hear you bragging to friends and family about how thankful you are for them. Now I’m not saying to be prideful by making your spouse seem like a saint compared to your friend’s, but it’s ok to say things like, “My husband does such a good job of keeping our yard mowed.” or “My wife always makes sure I have a hot meal for dinner.” The problem is we usually tell others about our spouse’s weaknesses, and forget to mention all the good stuff.

5) Take them on a date/vacation

Everyone wants to be pampered sometimes. I encourage you to plan something nice for your spouse. A date night at their favorite restaurant, a weekend getaway without the kids, or stay at home and give him/her a massage or pedicure. The key is to expressing just how thankful you are for your spouse. Whatever you plan, be sure to let them know (in detail) exactly why you appreciate them so much. Maybe they don’t do all the things listed above, but I guarantee you can find at least one good thing to thank them for.

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