Have you ever heard the saying, “Opposites attract”? Well there is a lot of truth to that saying, but sadly many relationships come to an end because two people have trouble working out their differences. My husband and I are complete opposites. He stays hot, I stay cold. He isn’t very social, yet I can talk to complete strangers about anything. He can’t sleep without noise, and I can’t sleep with it. He is a saver, I am a spender. He is okay with missing church one or two Sundays a month, and I want to be there every time the door is open.

For many years we let our differences cause a lot of conflict in our marriage. There were times we considered separation or divorce because we couldn’t seem to agree on anything and it put a wedge in between us. But then a Pastor said something to me that was life changing. He said, “Instead of being upset over your differences, realize that God put you two together to help each other out. Where your husband is strong, you are weak. And where you are strong, your husband is weak. If you can help each other out in those areas you two balance each other out.” He was so right! I’m not great with money and budgeting, but my husband is. And my husband isn’t strong spiritually, but I am. The list could go on and on. But isn’t it good news knowing that you and your spouse’s differences can be used to strengthen one another and strengthen your marriage?  I know it was for me. Once my husband and I got this revelation it helped us appreciate each other so much more.

So I want to encourage you to stop trying to change every little thing about your spouse, and to embrace his or her differences. Now that’s not to say you can’t pray for your spouse to be strengthened in certain areas or have a change of heart, but just remember that different doesn’t always mean bad. So ask yourself this question, “What can I learn from my spouse? And next time you find yourself arguing over differences, just remember that if you two were exactly the same you wouldn’t need each other.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down once can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecc. 4”9-10).

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