We all know the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. How Satan tricked Eve into eating the forbidden fruit that God commanded her not to, and then she gave some to her husband to eat also. I can only imagine how strong the temptation from the enemy was. I’m sure Eve thought to herself, “Just one bite won’t hurt.” or “It just looks so good I have to try some.” Sadly, her choice for instant gratification, led to life long consequences. For God said unto her, “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception…(Gen 3:16).

My heart is broken because husbands and wives are falling for the same trick today. Only Satan isn’t out there using fruit to deceive others, it’s actually much worse. Satan is leading others to believe lies such as: pornography won’t affect your marriage, it’s not cheating if you don’t make it physical, or no one will find out if you’re unfaithful to your spouse. But the truth is the moment you believe those deceptions, you give the enemy an opportunity to destroy your life. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…(John 10:10).

Do not give the devil a foothold (Eph 4:27).

Unfortunately, my husband gave into his temptations, and our lives will never be the same. The memory is still fresh in my head like it happened yesterday. It was December 29, 2014 when my husband admitted to having an affair with another woman. Our marriage had been rocky for years, and he’d already asked for a separation. I was scheduled to go sign the lease for an apartment that week. I cried out to God in my car that day, begging Him to show me what to do next. He spoke to my spirit and said, “Ask your husband one more time if he really wants the separation.” So I did and my husband said, “No. I would like to talk about it more.” Later that evening we agreed to give our marriage one more chance. He ended things with the other woman, and we began to allow God to transform us both. Our marriage was completely restored, my husband became a new creation through Christ, but the aftermath of the infidelity has been devastating for me.

I was so hurt! I felt so betrayed! My heart ached! For weeks I didn’t sleep, didn’t eat much, and I cried all the time. My mind was flooded with thoughts of him and the other woman. I imagined him touching her, kissing her, and making love to her. Every time he sent me a sweet text, I wondered if he wrote the same words to her. I became insecure and felt like I wasn’t good enough. I blamed myself for his sin, and lived with guilt. I was on an emotional roller coaster, and consumed with fear and mistrust. Just like Adam and Eve’s life changed after they tasted the forbidden fruit, my whole life was turned upside down after my husband made the choice to commit adultery.

Now a year and a half later, our marriage is better than it ever was before. I have forgiven him and the other woman, but I still have bad days. I still cry sometimes. I still imagine him with her when we have sex sometimes. I still have to constantly redirect painful thoughts. I do believe that God will heal my pain in time, but I know that I will never completely forget what he’s done. My husband gave himself away to another woman, that’s something he can never take back. Now please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying we can’t get past the past, I’m simply saying that all sin comes with consequences. But I continue to rely on God for strength, comfort, guidance, and peace. I continue to trust in Him and the promises He’s made. For His word says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jer 29:11).

If my husband was writing this I know he would tell you how much he regrets the choices he’s made. He realizes how close he came to losing his family. He sees the emotional pain it’s caused me day after day. The past can’t be changed for us, but we can encourage others not to make the same mistakes. So if you’re feeling tempted to step outside of your marriage to have your emotional, physical, or sexual needs met, PLEASE DON’T! Think about your commitment to the Lord, the vows you made to your spouse in front of family and friends, and the consequences your marriage will suffer for a feeling of temporary satisfaction.

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