Since I was a young girl I can remember praying this prayer, “God break my heart for what breaks yours.” There were times I would weep uncontrollably at the altar, just thinking about all the lost souls in the world. Images of people who were homeless, on drugs, or suffering, replayed in my head to the point I felt burdened. And while all those things clearly sadden God, my heart is broken now more than ever, over something much different.

My heart is broken for every marriage that’s damaged. For every couple that’s experienced separation, financial hardships, loss of a child, or adultery. For every husband that’s been betrayed, disrespected, or dishonored. For every wife that’s felt unloved, been lied to, cheated on, or abused. For every relationship that’s on the brink of divorce. I hear story after story of all these things happening, and I wonder how it must make God feel. I mean He’s the one who created humans, who designed marriage, and many are blinded to His blueprints. Some have chosen to follow Satan’s plan instead of God’s. Just like the enemy tricked Eve in the garden, he wants to trick you into sin. He wants to hinder your relationship with God, and destroy your marriage. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…(John 10:10). 

My heart is broken over the things that’s happened in my own marriage. The mistakes that can never be undone. The times I knew the right thing to do, but I was too prideful and selfish to follow through.

With this burden I feel a responsibility. I feel God has called me to teach others biblical principles to help them in their situations. If you’re dealing with any of the circumstances I mentioned, or something similar, I want to give you some advice in hopes that it will give you a new perspective to your problem, a solution, and a way to prevent it from it happening in your marriage again.

Here’s just a few tips I always give when counseling others:

1) Have a personal relationship with God, and put Him first.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matt 6:33).

2) Examine yourself and allow God to change you. Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is…(Rom 12:2). 

3) Treat your spouse with Christ like love, even if you feel they don’t deserve it. Do to others as you would have them do to you (Luke 6:31). 

4) Do your part and trust God to do the rest. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding (Prov 3:5). 

5) Let your actions speak louder than words. Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives (1 Peter 3:1). 

6) Pray for your spouse and with them! Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, presents your requests to God (Phi 4:6). For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am with them (Matt 18:20).

7) Forgive the way CHRIST forgives you. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you (Eph 4:32).

8) Don’t give up! And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up (Gal 6:9).

I don’t have the answer to every problem, but I know the Lord God almighty does. And I believe that there is no such thing as “too damaged” or “unfixable” when it comes to Him.

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