It was the first Wednesday in the month of February, and I was thankful to have a day off of work. My plans were to spend most of the day cuddled up in the bed with my husband, exchanging soft kisses, but he had plans of his own. It was National signing day for college football and that’s all Richie could think about. By the end of the day I was frustrated that he had spent several hours texting, tweeting, updating his Facebook, and watching the sport’s sites instead of giving me any attention. The thought even came to my mind that he was talking to other women because his phone was going off every minute, but reality set in and I knew I was just being insecure. I decided to go lay down in my bedroom alone and pray that God would help me to not be so upset over little things and to understand that this event only happened once a year. I wanted to go to sleep mad, but God’s spirit wouldn’t let me. Instead I went and laid on the couch with Richie, rubbed his arms and back, and focused on the love I had for him. Although I got nothing in return that night, I just kept reminding myself that Valentine’s Day was only ten days a way and he would be all mine with no distractions.

Valentine’s weekend approached and I had the perfect plans for Richie and I. It was arranged for us to stay two nights at his mother’s condo in Atlanta and to have a romantic dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I bought sexy lingerie, and a few other things to spice up things in the bedroom. I just knew it was going to be the best weekend ever and I had butterflies in my stomach every time I thought about it. Richie and I had celebrated several Valentine’s days together but this time was different. We had went from giving completely up on our marriage a few weeks prior, to giving our all to make it work. For years I dreaded this holiday because I could never find one card that described how I felt about Richie. I would never lie by buying a card that said, “I can’t imagine life without you!” Or “I love you so much!” The truth was I imagined life without him all the time and I felt like my love for him had faded away, but this time I seen my husband with a whole new perspective, I cherished him, and I loved him in the way God expected me to.

Before I could leave work to get to Richie he showed up with a card and a rose. He looked so handsome in his Tennessee jacket that I wanted to show him off to all my coworkers. His visit brightened my day and put a smile on my face that stretched from ear to ear. Everything felt like it did when we first started dating. The excitement was there, the passion was there, and I desired his love like never before. I went home and dressed myself up before we got on the road. When we got to the condo I put on a Tennessee Vols shirt and put my hair in pig tails so that he would be turned on. We tried to watch a movie but we were both so irresistible to each other that we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves. We made love and took a shower together before going to bed. I laid in his arms and we talked for a long time. It all seemed unreal to me. I was so thankful and in awe of the miracle God had done in me and in both of our lives. I was a different woman, a different wife. I thought about God’s word where it says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old is gone, the new is here!  I was so happy that night that my mind was at peace and I blocked out all the bad thoughts of my husband’s wrongdoings.

I fell asleep for a little while but I kept tossing and turning. I eventually woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. I had a million thoughts running through my head. I kept thinking about the night Richie told me he was going to Atlanta with some of his friends to a comedy club. Suddenly, I became suspicious of that night. I had already asked Richie several times if his affair was ever physical and he promised me that he had never met the woman he was talking to, but I had my doubts. I went over the details in my head until I got sick. I ran to the bathroom with diarrhea and I felt like I was going to vomit. I didn’t know what to do, what to feel. I thought it was the devil trying to ruin my perfect weekend. I wanted so bad to stop my mind from racing and to go back to sleep but I couldn’t. Something wasn’t right. My heart was beating fast, I felt funny. I grabbed my journal and this is what I wrote:

“God please help me get past this! I’m only hurting myself! I want to just believe Richie and trust that he’s telling the truth about his night in Atlanta. Even if he didn’t go to the comedy club and he was with her, it won’t change one thing now. We are happy and in love and everything is perfect. Devil leave me alone! Stop trying to ruin my marriage! God has restored it to better than ever before! You are DEFEATED!!! You lost the BATTLE!! 

A few hours after writing that and praying to God asking, “Lord what are you trying to tell me?” I realized it wasn’t the devil trying to put thoughts in my head, God wanted to reveal something to me. I went to our online phone records even though I had already been through them once and I clearly seen that no phone calls were made to the friend Richie was supposed to go to Atlanta with. So I texted that friend and asked, “What was the name of the comedy club you and Richie went to? We are here in Atlanta and I would like to take Richie there again.” I never received a text back. Richie woke up and I gave him a kiss and he gave me my Valentine’s present. He had no clue what I had been through all night. I handed him a card and while he was reading it his phone began to ring. I ran in the kitchen to get it and my heart dropped as I seen it was his friend. I knew right then why he never responded to my text and the reason he was calling. I went back to the bed and explained to Richie everything that had happened and what I had done to get answers. I told him that coming to Atlanta had done something to me and I was not well. With my hair still in pig tails, makeup smeared on my face, and heartbreak in my eyes, I looked at him and asked him what I really didn’t want to know the answer to, “Who were you with the night you went to Atlanta?” He replied, “I was with her.”

    …..To be continued

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