It’s easy to say something we don’t really mean when we’re angry. As I sat on the bed one day next to my husband; so upset I couldn’t even look him in the eyes, I said, “I  wish you wouldn’t have chosen me! Why didn’t you just pick her!” Deep down I know that if my husband would have left our marriage for another woman, I would have been devastated. But in all honesty, the thought had crossed my mind several times, that maybe my life would be easier had he just walked away. Maybe then I would have never learned of all the sinful things he did as a husband. I would have never learned that most of my marriage was one huge lie. Maybe I could have been spared from all the heartache I’ve endured. But then reality kicked in and I remembered what my pastor said, “Just because you abandon the ship, doesn’t mean the storm goes away.”-Joey Kelly. He was right! If my husband or I would have walked away from our marriage because of the storm we was facing, that didn’t mean our troubles were going to end. In fact, they probably would have been worse. I’ve felt hurt and been wounded in ways it seems no one but God can understand, but I can only imagine how divorce must feel. How it must feel to see someone you love, someone you have a history with and built a family with, marry someone else. How it must feel to watch your kids get close to and be parented by a stepmom or stepdad. How it must feel to have to start all over again. Those are circumstances I never want to go through!

Then there’s times I’ve looked at other couples and thought to myself, “I really wish I had a normal marriage like that.” A husband who I could trust and who had been faithful to me from day one.” But that’s just the devil trying to control my thoughts. To make me desire a perfect marriage that doesn’t exist. Sure there’s  husbands out there who are faithful and trustworthy, but they have other weaknesses. It could be anger, selfishness, pride, laziness, or they could even be abusive. No one is perfect, but the devil wants you to compare your marriage to others, and believe there’s someone better out there for you. The devil will try and deceive you…for he is a liar and the father of  lies (John 8:44). 

Sometimes I wish I had my old life back. A life that seemed somewhat normal. But then I feel guilty for even thinking that way. I mean how can I be ungrateful for my life now? Even though I’ve been through a lot, it doesn’t compare to the greatness of God. I’ve learned more about God and His love for me in the past year and half, than I have in my whole life. Every time the devil tries to keep my focus on the bad stuff, I redirect my thoughts to God’s promises. I think about all the great things God has done for me because I’ve trusted His plan for my life. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jer 29:11). Every day I thank God that my marriage was restored, that my husband has changed, that I get to teach our couple’s class at church, that I get to minister to others through social media and on this blog, and that almost daily I counsel someone who’s struggling in their marriage. I know that I wouldn’t be able to able to help anyone if it wasn’t for God, and if I hadn’t dealt with the issues others are facing myself. If someone wants to know how to overcome infidelity, they want to talk to someone who’s actually been through it. Someone whose marriage survived it and came out stronger on the other side. My husband and I are a living testimony. Sometimes it doesn’t seem fair but life isn’t fair…In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”(John 16:33).

Whatever you’re facing today in your marriage, I want to encourage you to stay in God’s will for your life. Maybe it seems too hard, too painful, or too hopeless, but don’t give up! God is there with you and He will help you and guide you every step of the way. Don’t let the devil trick you into going down the path of destruction. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Matt 7:13). Remain faithful to God and committed to your marriage. For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones (Psalms 37:28).

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